Howie: Slow Joe Biden is a few fries short of a Happy Meal

As he left for Wisconsin Tuesday, President Trump said this of his doddering opponent:

“Biden doesn’t know he’s alive.”

That was just Tuesday’s back of the hand. POTUS has also said that the 77-year-old Biden is “not all there.”

And that “he’s not playing with a full deck.”

Not to mention, “He doesn’t know where he is.”

And, no doubt in the coming days, the president will inform us that Slow Joe is a few fries short of a Happy Meal, not to mention three bricks shy of a load.

But why has Trump come to the conclusion that Joe Biden, never known as the sharpest knife in the drawer or the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree, no longer has anything left on his fastball as he’s rounding third on the back nine while approaching the checkout counter?

(Did I miss any? Do you see it easy it is to get into the rhythm of these dismissals?)

Perhaps Trump was watching Joe on TV in Pittsburgh Monday at his “live” event, in which he appeared in a cage, in what was in fact an almost empty auditorium.

And the Democrat nominee delivered yet another, well, Biden-esque oration:

“COVID has taken this year just since the outbreak, has taken more than 100 years – look, here’s the lives it’s just it’s just, I mean, think about it, more lives this year than any other year for the past hundred years.”

May we quote you on that, Mr. Vice President?

Every time his handlers lead him gently out of his basement, Dementia Joe steps in it.

Sometimes he confuses his wife and his sister. Or he forgets who he is (“I’m Joe Biden’s husband”) or the office he’s running for (Senate? President?) or the offices he’s held (he’s said “Congress” when he apparently meant the city council).

He’s confused the name of viruses (“Luhan,” “N1-H1”). He thinks 40 people were shot at Kent State, not four. He’s said 150 million have been killed by firearms since 2007, that 120 million have died of the virus, that 720 million women are in the U.S. workforce.

He thinks Margaret Thatcher is still alive. He talks about his prior job in the “O’Biden-Bama administration.” He brags that he’s known eight presidents, “three of them intimately.”

On Monday, in Pittsburgh, Biden developed a new verbal tic. He started adding “r’s” to words, on a very random basis.

Here Biden is on the violence in the urban areas. You recall that this is the same rioting and looting and mayhem that the alt-media media and the Democrats have been endlessly assuring us for months were “peaceful protests.”

But now it’s all … Trump’s fault. All those “peaceful protests” are now an orgy of … what we all saw with our own eyes.

Every day George Orwell’s “1984” becomes more prescient. Here is Biden on how Trump is handling the, uh, peaceful protests:

“He doesn’t want to shed light, he wants to generate heat and he’s stroking violence in our cities.”

Stroking violence. That’s what Joe said, he accused the President of “stroking violence.” He was reading off a Teleprompter and he added an “r,” to make the word “stroking.”

Why is Trump stroking violence, Joe?

“Since Donald Trump and Mike Prence can’t run on their record….”

Mike Prence? Of course, during the primary campaign he once called the president “Donald Hump,” I guess you could say Biden is running against the “Hump-Prence” ticket.

In his speech, in front of maybe five people, including cameramen, Joe also mentioned “building the nation’s roads, bridges, solar rays.”

And Biden bemoaned the “declining faith in the birth of the right American future.”

He also asked the empty auditorium if anyone thought he had “a soft spot for radicals.”

If I were one of Dementia Joe’s handlers, I would make sure he never again uttered the word “soft.” That’s a key part of a couple of more of those Trumpian phrases, you know, like “soft as a grape,” or “softer than a sneaker full of…”

Biden is just lucky that the alt-left media averts its eyes from his obvious decline. They even allow him to lie with impunity, as he did Monday when he denied saying that he wanted to ban fracking.

He has said that, repeatedly. But nothing to see here, folks, move along. That’s the verdict from CNN, MSNBC and all the rest of them.

Same thing with his endorsement of defunding the police. Biden denies now that he ever said it, and to be fair, he didn’t use the “d” word. Instead, Biden just said he wanted to “reallocate” law enforcement budgets.

I’ll leave you with one final thought, from Biden’s final words at the virtual Democrat convention two weeks ago.

“There’s never been anything we’ve been able to accomplish when we’ve done it together.”

I think Uncle Joe misread “unable” as “able.” But if he’s talking about his campaign, I can only hope he’s right. For once.

from Boston Herald https://ift.tt/3jxPNYT