Looking Glass: The life of crime just isn’t for everyone

A man robbed a bank in Springfield, Mo., by handing the teller a demand note written on the back of his birth certificate, while also wearing an ankle monitor because of his involvement in many previous crimes. He got away with $754, but was quickly arrested at the Lazy Acres Mobile Home Park where he resided.

SORRY, MA’AM, I’M ON BREAK: A woman called police to complain that an employee of a McDonald’s in Laurens, S.C., tattooing a minor at a table in the dining room of the restaurant “instead of getting food orders out.”

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?: A man told a prostitute online that he had won a large amount of money at a casino, and asked her to meet him at a motel in Evansville, Ind. Much to his surprise, she showed up with an armed man who demanded the cash and shot him in the arm when he refused to give it up. The two of them ran off without the money.

HEH, HEH, THEY’LL NEVER KNOW WHO I AM: A burglar, who broke into a home in Cape May, N.J., unplugged the security camera in the family room, apparently not realizing that it filmed him staring straight into the camera as he turned it off.

WHY DON’T YOU HOP ON OVER TO MY BEDROOM, BIG BOY?: A 54-year-old woman sitting on the lap of the Easter Bunny for a photo at a carousel park in Richland, Ohio, put her hand on his crotch and made lewd comments into his ear. Police arrested her for public drunkenness.

BUT, OFFICER, I’VE ALREADY NAMED HIM OWLIE: Police pulled over an impaired driver in Payson, Ariz., and were surprised to see an owl sitting beside him on the front seat of the car. The man, who was high on methamphetamine, told the officers that another driver found the owl along the road and sold it to him for $100 at a gas station. The cops informed him that it is illegal to own wildlife.

OTHER THAN THAT, A LOVELY EVENT: Eight men from the same family have been sent to prison for starting a massive brawl at a wedding reception in a fancy hotel in Warrington, England, in which as many as 50 people threw chairs, tables and glasses at one another and used fire extinguishers as weapons, causing $20,000 worth of damage. Police had to retreat and call for backup as the battle continued for 45 minutes. In the end, cops in 30 vehicles came and carried out mass arrests.

APPARENTLY A VERY PROFITABLE ENTERPRISE: Four thieves were seen in a video stealing the catalytic converter out of a van in a parking lot in Torrance, Calif., at 4 o’clock in the morning. They had pulled up in a yellow Lamborghini Urus, which costs a minimum of $220,000.

CAN I GET A JUMP START?: A thug pulled a knife on a man, who had pulled over on the street in Tacoma, Wash., at about 2:30 a.m., and tried to steal his electric car. He forced the driver out, but immediately discovered that he was parked there because his battery was dead.

from Boston Herald https://ift.tt/tDuaX9C