Looking Glass: OK, I give up, officer … uh, officer, are you there or what?

Police pursuing a stolen car in downtown Los Angeles pulled up and abandoned the chase because it was too dangerous. But the car thief didn’t realize this and finally stopped his car in a restaurant parking lot, got out and put his hands above his head, even though there were no law enforcement officers near him. He then laid on the ground in an attempt to surrender, unaware that no one was trying to take him into custody.

IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO TELL ME, HONEY? A man called police in Grand Rapids, Mich., to report that someone had entered his home during the night and stole five pounds of bacon from the refrigerator. Officers determined that his wife had gotten up for a late-night snack but was too embarrassed to admit it.

DIVINE RETRIBUTION: Deputies, responding to a report of a burglary at the Church of the Nazarene in Deer Park, Wash., at 3 a.m., ordered the suspect to freeze as soon as he exited the church. Then a skunk came up and sprayed him.

OOH, THAT BREEZE FEELS SOOO GOOD: When police pulled over a 60-year-old man on a routine traffic stop in Horton Township, Pa., at 10:45 p.m., they discovered that he was not only drunk but also naked.

I’M MOVING TOWARD THE LIGHT, EVERYONE: Before opening the emergency door during a flight from Paphos, Cyprus, to Manchester, England, a man snorted cocaine, got down on his knees, prayed, and then told his fellow passengers, “I will see you all in heaven.” Three guys stopped him.

HE WAS VERY HELPFUL INDEED: A man and a woman, who were engaged in sexual intercourse on the Giant Ferris Wheel at the Cedar Point amusement park in Sandusky, Ohio, were reported to police by four riders in another car who saw them doing it. The couple denied it at first saying that the woman had bent over after she dropped a pack of cigarettes and the man was “helping her.” They later admitted that they were having sex.

ABSOLUTELY, LET’S MEET UP: An 18-year-old drug dealer sent a “random text message” to a county commissioner in Palm Coast, Fla., offering to sell him an “eight-ball” of cocaine. The commissioner called the cops and arranged a meeting between the dealer and an undercover detective, who arrested him.

THIS BEATS CASTING A SPELL: After being thrown out of a used car dealership in Stonycreek Township, Pa., for attacking her ex-boyfriend, a woman believed to be practicing witchcraft went out into the parking lot, tore some pages out of the “Wicca Book of Spells,” ignited them and placed them on the front seat of a car through an open window. The vehicle caught on fire.

YOU’LL GET YOUR WISH, MA’AM: A 50-year-old woman made more than 11,000 harassing phone calls this year to a police emergency communications center in St. Petersburg, Fla. During a single 24-hour period last month, she called the center 512 times with “vulgar, threatening or obscene” messages, sometimes demanding that they arrest her. Finally, they did.

from Boston Herald https://ift.tt/4q9kvUV