Looking Glass: OK so we didn’t exactly follow your banking rules here

Two thieves used a stolen debit card to go on a shopping spree in London’s Clapham section, netting hundreds of dollars worth of goods including five lottery tickets, one of which paid a jackpot of more than $5 million. But payments in England are made by bank transfer, and, when they admitted that they don’t have bank accounts, authorities knew that they bought the tickets with a stolen card, and arrested them for fraud. They will not be paid the winnings.

HEY, I’M THE VICTIM HERE! A man called the police to complain that he paid a woman $500 to “have sexual relations with him” at a West Palm Beach, Fla., motel, but she failed to keep up her end of the deal. A police officer informed him that he was admitting to soliciting another person for sex. When he confirmed that that was exactly what he was doing, he was arrested.

EVERY THING’S FINE, HON, GO BACK TO SLEEP: A man went to the apartment of his ailing girlfriend in Nanning, China, and gave her food, as well as medicine that made her fall asleep. He then pressed her finger to her phone to unlock it and lifted her eyelids to unlock her facial recognition Alipay app before transferring $24,000 from her account to his.

I’M AS SURPRISED AS YOU ARE, OFFICER: Police searched a man they had pulled over in Clearwater, Fla., at 4 o’clock in the morning for driving without headlights or taillights, and found baggies containing cocaine and methamphetamine wrapped around his privates. He denied ownership of the drugs.

HEH, HEH, THIS’LL FOOL ‘EM: A heavily intoxicated woman was pulled over in Yorkshire, England, because she was swerving all over the road in a car with four flat tires and a shattered windshield, the result of an earlier collision. She then drank some hand sanitizer in an effort to pass the breathalyzer test, apparently not knowing that it contains 60 percent alcohol.

DISCUSSION OVER! Two young women got into a spirited argument in Manhattan, Kan., which ended when one of them hit the other on the head with a toaster.

OH, RIGHT, COULD’VE HAPPENED TO ANYONE: After a woman found a man drunk, naked and passed out in a bed in her home in Armagh, Northern Ireland, he offered an explanation to police who arrested him: He was so drunk that he thought he had gone into the home of his sister who lives nearby. Then, he had a snack, took off his clothes and went to bed.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT, PAL!? … KA-BLAM! An auto repair shop owner confronted a thief who was trying to steal a catalytic converter from underneath his van in the parking lot of his business in Portland, Ore. When the thief’s accomplice sprayed him with bear mace, he blasted them both with rock salt from his shotgun.

FIRST ADMIT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM: A man, who crashed his car into a power pole in Green Bay, Wis., was convicted of drunken driving for the 18th time since 1988. At his sentencing, he told the judge, “I regret everything that I’ve done.”

from Boston Herald https://ift.tt/3Fwt5M1