Looking Glass: Sounds like a lovely time; sign me up

A bride-to-be put an ad on Craigslist offering to pay $1,000 to any man who would be a date for her “needy” mother-in-law from Friday evening to Saturday evening for a wedding in Hudson Valley, N.Y. “She needs constant attention and supervision,” the bride wrote. “She will probably wear white and try to escalate small dramas — your job is simply to distract and de-escalate.” The ideal candidate should have “experience with narcissists.”

HONEY, I’M HOME! After he was released from a psychiatric hospital, a man wearing a yellow dress stole a school bus in Leavenworth, Wash., which he later abandoned. The next morning, he stole a front-end loader, and drove it through the home he had shared with his estranged wife in Chelewah. He was still wearing the dress when the cops came for him.

AND DON’T THINK I’M BLUFFING! An out-of-town drifter threatened to kill everyone at The Cosmopolitan hotel-casino on the Las Vegas Strip with a nuclear weapon he claimed to have in his possession.

WRONG ANSWER, PAL: A man convicted of using his motorized wheelchair to repeatedly ram a car at a school in Lamar County, Texas, asked the jury to sentence him to probation. But, when asked if he felt any remorse for his actions, he said, “No.” So they ordered him to be locked up for a year.

THAT’S IT! I’M CALLING MY ATTORNEY! A 14-year-old boy in the Anhui Province of China called the police and accused his father of “illegal child labor,” because the father had taken away his smartphone and forced him to do chores around the house.

THEY’RE OUT TO GET ME, I TELL YA! A man in Yakima, Wash., fired a shot into his refrigerator after a soda can exploded in there because he thought the people who live in the basement below him wanted to kill him. He said that they had shot at him, so he fired in self-defense. However, investigators said that there is no one that lives in the basement, and that, in fact, there is no basement at all.

HONEY, DOESN’T IT FEEL LIKE THE EARTH MOVED? Workers at a barbershop in Montreal examined the surveillance footage to determine who shattered the shop’s glass front door during the night, thinking that it was a robber or an intoxicated individual. But it turned out to be a couple who were enthusiastically making out and, consumed with passion, fell through the door when they slammed into it.

SO THIS DIDN’T COME AS A SURPRISE: An inmate escaped from a minimum-security jail in Muskogee, Okla., by walking away from the facility at 7 in the morning. He was serving a three-year sentence for escaping from another jail in Logan County last year.

THANKS FOR THE WARNING: A man called the police department in the Baltimore suburb of Havre de Grace, Md., and said he was going to come there and kill an officer. He later drove his vehicle through the front doors of the station into the lobby. Officers Tased him and took him to the hospital for an evaluation by mental health professionals.

from Boston Herald https://ift.tt/3A0IAZF