Does this mean you still have feelings for me?

After four dinner dates and two sexual encounters four years ago with a woman in Sydney, Australia, that he had met through Tinder, a man broke up with her and moved to Melbourne. The woman, who is a doctor, then sent 9,000 abusive and threatening texts and emails to him, his new girlfriend and their relatives.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT BELONGS TO ME, OFFICER? A man was charged with counterfeiting after police raided his home in Limestone County, Ala., and found lots of fake cash and a $50 bill that he had test-printed on the back of his state parole document.

OR ANYTHING ELSE FOR THAT MATTER: Police reported that a man, who crashed a golf cart into a tree in a nudist resort in Anne Arundel County, Md., was not wearing a helmet.

I THINK THE JUDGE WOULD DISAGREE, SIR: A man broke into a vending machine at a laundromat in Crystal City, Mo., and made off with 15 pounds of change and cash while wearing a T-shirt that said, “It’s not a crime unless you get caught.” Since he did this in full view of a security camera, the cops should be closing in on him any time now.

REMEMBER ME? BECAUSE I SURE REMEMBER YOU: After “borrowing” a few thousand dollars from friends and a woman he later broke up with, a 21-year-old man in Australia took off and faked his death by having his mother tell everyone that he had been murdered. A few years later, the ex-girlfriend ran into him very much alive and working in a restaurant where she was eating dinner. An awkward interchange resulted.

OK, COULD YOU OFFICERS PLEASE ACCEPT MY APOLOGY? A man cut off a car on the westbound Belt Parkway in Sheepshead Bay, N.Y., then angrily pointed a stolen .45-caliber pistol at the men in the other vehicle as he passed them. Unfortunately for him, those guys turned out to be undercover detectives from the Brooklyn North Gang Unit.

HEH, HEH, THE COPS WILL NEVER FIGURE THIS ONE OUT … UH-OH: A man, who wanted to rob a bank in Circleville, Pa., tried to trick police into responding to a false crime elsewhere. Wearing a disguise, he passed a note to a restaurant worker that said there was an active shooter threat and multiple bombs at two high schools. Then he headed to the bank in a vehicle with a stolen license plate, but was pulled over before he got there.

SOUNDS LIKE AN EXCELLENT EMPLOYEE: A security guard, who was fired from the Cowboy Jack’s bar and restaurant in Minneapolis after he was found sleeping in the back staircase after the place closed, returned a few days later, brandished a short-barrel shotgun, punched an employee in the head and stole $24,000 in cash.

WELL, IT’S KIND OF HARD TO DESCRIBE: A man stole an excavator, used to dig up dirt at construction sites, and went on a joyride through a neighborhood in Topeka, Kan., damaging property as he went. He was arrested after police received a call about a “suspicious vehicle.”

from Boston Herald https://ift.tt/32fsIRP